A couple of years after I moved to Jamaica, I was talking on the phone to my youngest son (he just turned 24 last week) and during our conversation, he told me that moving to Jamaica was a downgrade for me.
Thank you for sharing this! You chose YOU and a fuller existence- that is brave. Your son will see that one day. I see you as a beautiful role model in all ways. Be well and keep living fully with love 🫶🙏🙌💜
Your words touch my heart, Heidi, and thank you deeply for connecting and sharing them. Choosing myself has been one of the hardest and liberating things I have ever done in my life! It feels pretty amazing to be seen by you and supported…moms face a lot of judgment in so many ways, especially those of us who don’t fit into the mold that society says we should. I’m super stoked to have you here and I’m heading over to your publication to check it out now! A deep bow of gratitude and love to you 🙏🩵
I really enjoyed this Deanna and such a beautiful perspective. As someone striving to live mindfully, it definitely doesn't sound like a downgrade but can totally see how it could be perceived as one if you different priorities and points of focus. Thanks so much more sharing x
Awwww, thank you deeply, Lucy for reading and taking the time to connect! You are so right that different priorities and points of focus give different opinions and perspectives…this makes being human so fascinating, doesn’t it? I love to hear the perspectives of others and their experiences as well. We can all learn so much from each other and sharing our stories and perspectives can open us to new ways of thinking and being that we never may have thought of on our own. A deep bow of gratitude and a lotus for you 🙏🪷
Hey Deanna! 🌸 I’ve missed reading your beautiful words and hearing your voice! I love how you turned what could've felt like a "downgrade" into this beautiful adventure! Everything truly unfolds as it needs to. Yup, no such thing as a perfect mom. I've got three and each is her own version of (im)perfect and I love them all! Big hugs! 🫶✨
Monika!! I always smile so big when I see your name pop up here in the comments 😁 Yes, everything indeed unfolds as it needs to and I have found so much peace in the knowing of this (although I’m human so I need to remind myself sometimes, lol 😂). What a blessing for you to have 3 moms in your life, beautiful soul ✨ Your big hugs are received with gratitude and sent back to you a million fold! 🫂🩵🫶
I can relate to everything you wrote here, Deanna. Sometimes simple is better, and we "need" a lot less than we think. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I’m so glad you found my writing here, Kaitlyn, and it sounds like we are kindred spirits. I just checked out your publication and I am tickled to see that you are also living in a different country by choice than where you were born! I’m looking forward to checking out your publication more and am sending you a deep bow of gratitude and a lotus from my heart to yours, fellow peaceful warrior 🙏🪷🩵
Hello, Nadine, my fellow peaceful warrior! I am grinning to hear that you found my piece relatable 😁 14 years in Mexico City…splendid! My husband and I spent 3 days there on our way back to Jamaica from being in quarantine in Cusco, Peru for over 5 months during the pandemic. We loved it there! I love Mexico in general…I could eat cheese enchiladas everyday lol 😂 I was born in the SF Bay Area of California and lived there my whole life until I moved to Jamaica so I appreciate good Mexican food for sure. What has been the biggest lesson you learned leaving Britain and moving to Mexico?
Oh lovely! So you’ve experienced the craziness that is this city, and perhaps seen why it’s so enticing. Quarantining in Cusco must have been an adventure!
Thank you deeply and kindly, Wen, for taking the time to read and connect here in the comments. My heart is smiling as I write this knowing that my writing resonated with you. A deep bow of gratitude and a lotus for you 🙏🪷
As a fine artist living in the USA I've had to make a similar "shift of mental furniture" so I can live my life as a creative person. Long long ago I let go of the corporate cultural demands for large houses, cars etc stuff that gets upgraded (ha!) whenever it's no longer trendy. I go slowly about making my artwork. I cook from fresh ingredients. I value time in person with family and friends..... I applaud you and am here in spirit with you!!
You are most definitely a kindred spirit, dear Sue! I applaud you as well for choosing to live your creative life in the US…you are an inspiration! I honestly couldn’t figure out how to do it in the US as everything was soooo expensive but that’s also part and parcel for the SF Bay Area. I don’t imagine that I will ever return to the US to live but I have learned in my journey to never say never. If I ever did go back, I would not return to the SF Bay Area and would instead seek out more rural areas where it might be more possible.
Thank you deeply and kindly for being here with me and offering your gifts to the world. I continue to be inspired by your art and for this, I am ever grateful. You are a special soul and so full of light! ✨🪽
I’ve wondered the same thing, Susan, if it’s only Americans who would think that?! Hmmm 🤔 I agree that it’s an upgrade, of course, and now thanks to the comment from Victoria, I just might start saying it’s free-range living! Thank you deeply for being here and taking the time to connect. It means a lot and I’m ever grateful! 🙏🩵
Beautiful post Deanna! I can so relate! I lived as a digital nomad without a home base for three years and lived in a small RV for two months, stayed at intentional communities for several weeks, did some co-living with folks and lots of housesitting. I don't think either of my sons understood why I needed to cut ties with daily pressures, expenses and responsibilities, but it truly served me in that I saw I could live with less and that I could trust life to take care of me no matter what. I had some wild experiences including occasionally sleeping in my RV in a parking lots of big retail stores including Walmart, taking a shower in a truck stop, sleeping in my car a few times and more!
I wouldn't call what you're doing or what I did downgrading, I would call it downsizing, right-sizing, slow living, free-range living, sustainable living, voluntary simplicity and so on!
Wow, that’s an incredible journey, Victoria! Thank you deeply for sharing your experience…it just tickles me to know that there are others out there who are willing to take the risk to live life on their terms, even when others don’t seem to get it. You are an inspiration! I’m curious to know what you are doing now? Did you settle down somewhere? If you have written about this, I would love for you to share a link so I can dive in and experience it!!
I love all of the terms that you shared instead of downgrading…especially free-range living! My dad used to call me bird legs so now I can tell others I’m a free-range living bird! 🐦 Love it! 🩵
Thanks Deanna. It was a wild and crazy journey with lots of ups and downs. I wrote a blog the whole time I was traveling but it's no longer live but copied into a document in a folder on my computer. Maybe some day I'll include a few posts about it on my Substack. :-)
What a difficult conversation with your son, and at the same time an odd sort of blessing. You are a great Mom in allowing him to make his own choices, all the while knowing they aren’t for you. I’m making that same decision with both my adult daughters (who choose very different lives from mine).
Living 20 minutes from the ocean is amazing. All of life is affected by the enormity of that ocean, and the beautiful people in that country. I felt a strong pull to be there both times I visited, yet was too young and still too asleep to make the choices you and Kristi did.
The “downgrade” list of his sheds light on his concerns. My list would include one thing.. medical care. And I know nothing about what is available to you.
You are radiant with peace and the fact that you’ve shed so many fear driven must haves is amazing. Many hugs of respect to you.
You see me, dear Teyani, and it feels like a gentle, loving hug from a beautiful butterfly 🦋 It was indeed a challenging conversation with my son and often we grow so much more with these type of real talk conversations…so yes, an odd sort of blessing for true. Parenting is by far the most difficult job I have ever had and to know that you are making the same type of decision with your adult daughters makes me feel less alone and for that, I am ever grateful.
Ah yes, medical care…this has come up from several people when they ask me about living here. At this moment, I am blessed to not have any (known) medical conditions that require medication or regular care (I haven’t been to a doctor since 2018 in CA before I left for Jamaica). I have experienced the Jamaican medical system a bit through my husband and let’s just say there are definitely some concerns there! Medical care is a complex topic as I know you innerstand…
Thank you as always for being here with me on this journey and I’m sending those hugs of respect right back to you a million fold! 🫂
beautiful. I get this. Here with you! I think it's fascinating how others perceive this simplifications. I tend to think backwards is the new forwards. minimize is the new accumulate, and appreciate is the new take for granted. In a weird backwards world, I'm happy to be upside down and inside out.
As I read your son's list of things you were forgoing (what he saw you forgoing were the 'comforts' of a 1st world life) I sighed. I certainly miss those non-comforts, the more simple life, but even though we've returned to the US, I've learned so much and try to move through my days that way.
My kids were in college when we left the US. As I watch them now navigate post-college, career-lives, Iike you, we as parents maybe 'promoted' that route, my hope is that since they saw us 'do the uncommon thing' to live our best life, they will be inspired and not afraid to do what works for them or try something new. Pura Vida!
I share your hope that they will be inspired by our uncommon choices! Marlo, I would love to hear more about why you returned to the US and how your CR adventure is influencing your experience in the states now. Maybe you have written about this? If so, would you be so kind as to share the link? If not, would you consider writing about this???
I haven't written yet about why we came back. Maybe I did in my about page (I don't remember haha). In a word-family. We came back because my daughter got engaged and we wanted to be closer to our now out-of-college, adult kids (who I refer to as kidults). Strangely, today is the 2 year anniversary of when I walked out of our hotel as the owner. We also had a willing and great buyer to turn the place over too. Time to make new chapters in our life story I guess. 💜
Awwww, I totally get it, Marlo! And kidults…what a great word! I just may start using that 🤩
2 years ago today…wow what timing to be here and chatting about this! So aligned. I imagine it brings up a mix of thoughts and emotions!
Definitely time for new chapters in your journey…I wish you all the peace and magic the universe has on offer to you as you walk your new path with memories of your time in CR etched in your heart and soul 🌈💫 Pura Vida, beautiful one!
Love the word kidult. We always had guests ask 'do you have kids' and I'd explain yes but they were in college and adults. One honeymooner said, "Oh my parents call us kidults" and I loved that. They're always your kids but they are not kids anymore-so kidult! 💜
I've touched on how my CR adventure influences my life back in the states in these 2 posts. And I think it's been sprinkled into others with some lessons I've learned along the way.
Living the dream! I see you. I feel you. I understand you. Many blessings to you.
A deep bow of gratitude, love, and compassion for you, Irene 🙏🩵✨ (my beloved niece’s name is Irene ✨)
Thank you for sharing this! You chose YOU and a fuller existence- that is brave. Your son will see that one day. I see you as a beautiful role model in all ways. Be well and keep living fully with love 🫶🙏🙌💜
Your words touch my heart, Heidi, and thank you deeply for connecting and sharing them. Choosing myself has been one of the hardest and liberating things I have ever done in my life! It feels pretty amazing to be seen by you and supported…moms face a lot of judgment in so many ways, especially those of us who don’t fit into the mold that society says we should. I’m super stoked to have you here and I’m heading over to your publication to check it out now! A deep bow of gratitude and love to you 🙏🩵
I really enjoyed this Deanna and such a beautiful perspective. As someone striving to live mindfully, it definitely doesn't sound like a downgrade but can totally see how it could be perceived as one if you different priorities and points of focus. Thanks so much more sharing x
Awwww, thank you deeply, Lucy for reading and taking the time to connect! You are so right that different priorities and points of focus give different opinions and perspectives…this makes being human so fascinating, doesn’t it? I love to hear the perspectives of others and their experiences as well. We can all learn so much from each other and sharing our stories and perspectives can open us to new ways of thinking and being that we never may have thought of on our own. A deep bow of gratitude and a lotus for you 🙏🪷
Hey Deanna! 🌸 I’ve missed reading your beautiful words and hearing your voice! I love how you turned what could've felt like a "downgrade" into this beautiful adventure! Everything truly unfolds as it needs to. Yup, no such thing as a perfect mom. I've got three and each is her own version of (im)perfect and I love them all! Big hugs! 🫶✨
Monika!! I always smile so big when I see your name pop up here in the comments 😁 Yes, everything indeed unfolds as it needs to and I have found so much peace in the knowing of this (although I’m human so I need to remind myself sometimes, lol 😂). What a blessing for you to have 3 moms in your life, beautiful soul ✨ Your big hugs are received with gratitude and sent back to you a million fold! 🫂🩵🫶
I can relate to everything you wrote here, Deanna. Sometimes simple is better, and we "need" a lot less than we think. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I’m so glad you found my writing here, Kaitlyn, and it sounds like we are kindred spirits. I just checked out your publication and I am tickled to see that you are also living in a different country by choice than where you were born! I’m looking forward to checking out your publication more and am sending you a deep bow of gratitude and a lotus from my heart to yours, fellow peaceful warrior 🙏🪷🩵
Ah thank you, Deanna! I’m happy we’ve connected. Sending you so much love 🥰
Enormously relatable. ✋🏼 Brit who moved to Mexico city 14 years ago.
Hello, Nadine, my fellow peaceful warrior! I am grinning to hear that you found my piece relatable 😁 14 years in Mexico City…splendid! My husband and I spent 3 days there on our way back to Jamaica from being in quarantine in Cusco, Peru for over 5 months during the pandemic. We loved it there! I love Mexico in general…I could eat cheese enchiladas everyday lol 😂 I was born in the SF Bay Area of California and lived there my whole life until I moved to Jamaica so I appreciate good Mexican food for sure. What has been the biggest lesson you learned leaving Britain and moving to Mexico?
Oh lovely! So you’ve experienced the craziness that is this city, and perhaps seen why it’s so enticing. Quarantining in Cusco must have been an adventure!
I LOVE this. I am so happy for YOU for the ‘wealth’ that you have amounted!
Thank you deeply and kindly, Wen, for taking the time to read and connect here in the comments. My heart is smiling as I write this knowing that my writing resonated with you. A deep bow of gratitude and a lotus for you 🙏🪷
As a fine artist living in the USA I've had to make a similar "shift of mental furniture" so I can live my life as a creative person. Long long ago I let go of the corporate cultural demands for large houses, cars etc stuff that gets upgraded (ha!) whenever it's no longer trendy. I go slowly about making my artwork. I cook from fresh ingredients. I value time in person with family and friends..... I applaud you and am here in spirit with you!!
You are most definitely a kindred spirit, dear Sue! I applaud you as well for choosing to live your creative life in the US…you are an inspiration! I honestly couldn’t figure out how to do it in the US as everything was soooo expensive but that’s also part and parcel for the SF Bay Area. I don’t imagine that I will ever return to the US to live but I have learned in my journey to never say never. If I ever did go back, I would not return to the SF Bay Area and would instead seek out more rural areas where it might be more possible.
Thank you deeply and kindly for being here with me and offering your gifts to the world. I continue to be inspired by your art and for this, I am ever grateful. You are a special soul and so full of light! ✨🪽
And I'm inspired and encouraged by the things you share too!!! I love and appreciate you!!!!! 💚💚💚💚💚
Cheers to downgrading. It's not a bad move. It's the wise one.
You get it my fellow peaceful warrior…thank you for taking the time to read and connect, Damon. I really appreciate you! 🙏🩵
Not a downgrade. More a lateral adjustment one might say
You are a wordsmith at heart, dear Robert! Thank you for reading and taking the time to connect 🙏🩵 Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!
Possibly only someone raised in America would look at what you describe as a downgrade. As you said it’s an upgrade.
I’ve wondered the same thing, Susan, if it’s only Americans who would think that?! Hmmm 🤔 I agree that it’s an upgrade, of course, and now thanks to the comment from Victoria, I just might start saying it’s free-range living! Thank you deeply for being here and taking the time to connect. It means a lot and I’m ever grateful! 🙏🩵
Beautiful post Deanna! I can so relate! I lived as a digital nomad without a home base for three years and lived in a small RV for two months, stayed at intentional communities for several weeks, did some co-living with folks and lots of housesitting. I don't think either of my sons understood why I needed to cut ties with daily pressures, expenses and responsibilities, but it truly served me in that I saw I could live with less and that I could trust life to take care of me no matter what. I had some wild experiences including occasionally sleeping in my RV in a parking lots of big retail stores including Walmart, taking a shower in a truck stop, sleeping in my car a few times and more!
I wouldn't call what you're doing or what I did downgrading, I would call it downsizing, right-sizing, slow living, free-range living, sustainable living, voluntary simplicity and so on!
Wow, that’s an incredible journey, Victoria! Thank you deeply for sharing your experience…it just tickles me to know that there are others out there who are willing to take the risk to live life on their terms, even when others don’t seem to get it. You are an inspiration! I’m curious to know what you are doing now? Did you settle down somewhere? If you have written about this, I would love for you to share a link so I can dive in and experience it!!
I love all of the terms that you shared instead of downgrading…especially free-range living! My dad used to call me bird legs so now I can tell others I’m a free-range living bird! 🐦 Love it! 🩵
Thanks Deanna. It was a wild and crazy journey with lots of ups and downs. I wrote a blog the whole time I was traveling but it's no longer live but copied into a document in a folder on my computer. Maybe some day I'll include a few posts about it on my Substack. :-)
What a difficult conversation with your son, and at the same time an odd sort of blessing. You are a great Mom in allowing him to make his own choices, all the while knowing they aren’t for you. I’m making that same decision with both my adult daughters (who choose very different lives from mine).
Living 20 minutes from the ocean is amazing. All of life is affected by the enormity of that ocean, and the beautiful people in that country. I felt a strong pull to be there both times I visited, yet was too young and still too asleep to make the choices you and Kristi did.
The “downgrade” list of his sheds light on his concerns. My list would include one thing.. medical care. And I know nothing about what is available to you.
You are radiant with peace and the fact that you’ve shed so many fear driven must haves is amazing. Many hugs of respect to you.
You see me, dear Teyani, and it feels like a gentle, loving hug from a beautiful butterfly 🦋 It was indeed a challenging conversation with my son and often we grow so much more with these type of real talk conversations…so yes, an odd sort of blessing for true. Parenting is by far the most difficult job I have ever had and to know that you are making the same type of decision with your adult daughters makes me feel less alone and for that, I am ever grateful.
Ah yes, medical care…this has come up from several people when they ask me about living here. At this moment, I am blessed to not have any (known) medical conditions that require medication or regular care (I haven’t been to a doctor since 2018 in CA before I left for Jamaica). I have experienced the Jamaican medical system a bit through my husband and let’s just say there are definitely some concerns there! Medical care is a complex topic as I know you innerstand…
Thank you as always for being here with me on this journey and I’m sending those hugs of respect right back to you a million fold! 🫂
beautiful. I get this. Here with you! I think it's fascinating how others perceive this simplifications. I tend to think backwards is the new forwards. minimize is the new accumulate, and appreciate is the new take for granted. In a weird backwards world, I'm happy to be upside down and inside out.
What a fun way to think about this world we are in, Megan! I love that perspective and appreciate you sharing it! 🫶
As I read your son's list of things you were forgoing (what he saw you forgoing were the 'comforts' of a 1st world life) I sighed. I certainly miss those non-comforts, the more simple life, but even though we've returned to the US, I've learned so much and try to move through my days that way.
My kids were in college when we left the US. As I watch them now navigate post-college, career-lives, Iike you, we as parents maybe 'promoted' that route, my hope is that since they saw us 'do the uncommon thing' to live our best life, they will be inspired and not afraid to do what works for them or try something new. Pura Vida!
I share your hope that they will be inspired by our uncommon choices! Marlo, I would love to hear more about why you returned to the US and how your CR adventure is influencing your experience in the states now. Maybe you have written about this? If so, would you be so kind as to share the link? If not, would you consider writing about this???
I haven't written yet about why we came back. Maybe I did in my about page (I don't remember haha). In a word-family. We came back because my daughter got engaged and we wanted to be closer to our now out-of-college, adult kids (who I refer to as kidults). Strangely, today is the 2 year anniversary of when I walked out of our hotel as the owner. We also had a willing and great buyer to turn the place over too. Time to make new chapters in our life story I guess. 💜
Awwww, I totally get it, Marlo! And kidults…what a great word! I just may start using that 🤩
2 years ago today…wow what timing to be here and chatting about this! So aligned. I imagine it brings up a mix of thoughts and emotions!
Definitely time for new chapters in your journey…I wish you all the peace and magic the universe has on offer to you as you walk your new path with memories of your time in CR etched in your heart and soul 🌈💫 Pura Vida, beautiful one!
Thank you! Yes a lot of emotions but all good!
Love the word kidult. We always had guests ask 'do you have kids' and I'd explain yes but they were in college and adults. One honeymooner said, "Oh my parents call us kidults" and I loved that. They're always your kids but they are not kids anymore-so kidult! 💜
I've touched on how my CR adventure influences my life back in the states in these 2 posts. And I think it's been sprinkled into others with some lessons I've learned along the way.
https://whatanadventure.substack.com/t/things-i-miss
Sounds like an upgrade to me, Deanna.
Thank you for seeing me, Diana, and taking the time to connect! 🙏🪷